Daughter Details

I hope Ann Marie's daughter has some sort of an idea of what kind of a family she is getting herself into. Her mother is the most mature person I know. She doesn't like to have any fun, and NEVER wants to be the center of attention. Just saying...

***NOTE TO ANN- Next time you email me and ask me WHEN am I going to update your post, and tell me that I'm "slacking" I WILL have mom scan pics from when you were little. Head gear, lip bumper, peeling sun burn, buck teeth, boy hair cut, tall scrawny body, and ALL!

Miles of Smiles from Me to You!

Your OLDEST and FAVORITE SISTER- Katie

From Ann Marie Below-

Even though I can't yet post a picture of my daughter I'd like to share a little bit about her. When we visited our daughter at the orphanage she was a busy girl. She didn't necessarily need to be around the action but she did a good job of keeping herself busy. She sang songs and goofed around with the kids but when she had it, she went in back and started washing clothes, gave the little guy at the "home" a bath, etc. She is silly around her peers but if she has adults around that she doesn't know and the attention turns towards her she completely shuts down. She won't make eye contact, won't talk, etc. Frankly, I can't say I blame her. She has been through a lot in her short life and I'm pretty sure this is how she copes. I'm willing to guess a wedding shower or baby shower thrown in her honor would be her biggest nightmare. Everyday she seems to be coming a little more alive. The shell she has built up breaks down a bit more as she gets to know us and learns to trust us. With that being said I'm pretty sure it will take some time for her to learn to trust us. This girl is the pictures of strength, she is strong willed, and relies on herself more than any 4 year old should... Her life skill set is also much stronger than any 4 year olds should be... Here are a few fun things we have learned about her: When she smiles her eyes light up and if you can get her to giggle or laugh there is no sweeter sound. I'm pretty sure she had never used a western toilet or toilet paper until just a few days ago:) Same with silverware. She is a fast learner and will master new skills very quickly. Her English is limited to counting but just yesterday she started repeating (she doesn't know what she is saying but she will now repeat). She is into jewelry, making it and wearing it (even to bed). She has her ears pierced, we haven't seen earrings in them but we did see straw/grass or sticks (something of the sort) in the holes. She loves going through the clothes we brought her and refolding and organizing it. Every time she puts on a clothing item she jumps up on the bed to check out how she looks in the mirror and sort of poses even if it's just undies she has on. She loves eating roasted grasshoppers. She is shorter than I imagined and rounder. Her belly and body look a bit bloated right now but I'm sure it will go down with time (and perhaps some meds.). When we brought her to the doctor yesterday I thought for sure she weighted more then Geremu and Cullen. Turns out she is quite a bit less, just much puffier (is that a word?) That's all I have time for tonight. I'm really looking forward to having our family together forever. I think having the boys around will help our daughter to break out of her shell even more. Love from the Pearl of Africa, AnnMarie

She's Officially Scared of Me!

Another day, another email from Ann Marie to share. Dang it...just as I was headed into the old photo albums. Don't worry, she won't be able to keep this up for another 5 weeks! (Mom, when you get home can you please take all AMG's old school pics and scan them to me? That in itself could keep us all entertained for 5 weeks!)

We don't have power right now again so I'm going to see if I can remember where I left off yesterday. I think it was after meeting our girl... Last weekend was spent getting to know Uganda and getting to know our girl. We knew she was in a "home" that had strict rules. We just didn't know when we would get custody of her, we were told it could be right before court but it could also be once we had the court ruling.

One thing I have noticed about the Uganda culture is that everyone and I mean everyone is vague. They don't like to be specific at all. The more vague they are with their answers the less accountable they will be held. Since we are guests in their country we will respect their vagueness and not push them too hard... You have no idea just how hard this is for me at times.

Back to my story, we had met with a probation officer (that works in the region our daughter is from) on Friday afternoon right before heading to our daughters "home". He wanted to check us out and ask a few questions before we met our daughter. I can't say I blame him either, I'd certainly want to check someone in our situation out too. Monday morning we were suppose to meet with a different probation officer (this one works in the region that our daughter "home" was). When we got there I could tell there was some sort of a problem. No one would tell us what the problem was, they were as clear as mud and said, there might be a problem. I was so frustrated and mad because I knew we had court the next day and that something was wrong but I didn't know what... We left the office with our friend, driver and two social worker for our daughters home in the car and headed to get to the bottom of the "problem." I later found out what the "problem" was which did end up being nothing but to protect my daughters story I am not going to go into details. I'm just going to pull a vague move here and say it had more to do with miscommunication than anything else.

So after an extremely stressful Monday and very little sleep that night we got up early head back to the probation officers office. Our daughter was delivered to that office on a boda, boda (unsafe motorcycle taxi) and handed to us by the probation officer and that's how we received custody. From his office we quickly headed to the court house for our hearing. After waiting about 2 hours we were called in for our case. Everyone that was suppose to show up did (which might be a miracle in and of itself) and everything seemed to go fine... That is until our judge gave us that date we would get our ruling. After he said Dec. 2nd I'm pretty sure my eyes bulged right out of my head. Our lawyer talked to the judge trying to get it moved but he seemed just fine with it where he had set it. I was told that the courts would be closing in mid November for the holiday season. I was also under the impression that most rulings came about one week after the court date. So to say I was shocked would have been an understatement... I never saw it coming. I held it together until I walked out of the room and found out that the reason it was pushed back was because the judge is going on vacation... That's. When. I. Lost. It... All out, couldn't catch my breath, hiccup sobs- classy.

The best news of the day came when I later learned that earlier when the probation officer handed our daughter over to us it meant that we got to keep her in our care. I was wondering why so many pictures were being snapped... Turns out the "home" couldn't hand over our girl to us, it had to be the probation officer. So as much as I'll miss my boys while I'm away at least I have my girl to get through this with me.

More about my girl tomorrow...

From Ann Marie...

***Look who is afraid of the stories I might post on the blog! I'm going to keep dangling those over her head, so she continues to keep us updated as much as possible! Enjoy...

I just want to start off by saying thank you to everyone that has helped us and is so willing to help us through this process. I talked with my sister Katie today and we feel so very blessed to have such amazing friends and family. We are so overwhelmed with the amount of support we are receiving even while we are so far away. We are so fortunate to have such an amazing support system, it really makes being away for so long much easier.

I'm going to start from the beginning as we haven't had power regularly.
We had about a weeks notice before having to leave the country. We had to figure out travel arrangements, find a place to stay, get packed, things settled at work, paperwork prepared and make sure the boys were taken care of.... We have an amazing babysitter (Amanda), close family friends (Katie and Billy) and some kick butt grandparents that made leaving the boys at home our best option.

I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep more than a few hours a night in the week leading up to our travel. I was emotionally and physically drained when I boarded the plane which made leaving my boys really hard, but made traveling a breeze. I passed out on every flight before take off occasionally waking up to eat and Nick would wake me up once we landed. Nick on the other hand is too big to be sleeping in the upright position. He was exhausted when we landed. We flew into Uganda on Thursday night, found our "home" and crashed for the night.

When we woke up on Friday we ran around town to get odds and ends taken care of while taking in the sites, sounds, and smells of Uganda. The weather has been warm and sunny 70-80 degrees during the day. Friday afternoon we headed over to the "home"/orphanage of our daughter. After months of looking at her picture it was sureal to finally get to meet this girl that we had fallen in love with.

Our daughters "home" consists of mostly older kids, 8-13 years old. She has been the youngest child at this home until recently. (There is now a little guy that is about 18 months old.) So when we first arrived some of the kids ran out to greet us. As soon as they saw whose picture was on the front of the photo album I was holding they all ran back to find our girl.

I was standing in the middle of a mosh pit of kids trying to grab the photo album out of my hands. I remember Nick saying "Annie there she is," as I looked up and saw my girl strolling around the corner. She looked right at me and I'm sure my heart stopped. The confidence she carried as she walked towards us smiling is something I will never forget. Her smile could light up the town ofKampala. She is really is something else...

She came and joined me in the mosh pit. I didn't want to overwhelm her so I fought the urge to scoop her up and smother her in kisses. I played it cool, and squatted down so I could go through the photo album with her. She looked through the few pictures I brought all the while checking me out. I was busy checking her out too... She is perfect in every way. Once we got through all the pictures I picked my girl up to introduce her to Nick. You see Nick was also in the mosh pit, only he had so many kids hanging off of his limbs that if he had bent over he would have taken out a third of our crowd. We didn't get to take our girl on Friday but we did get to spend time getting to know her. We also were able to head back over the weekend to spend some more time getting acquainted.

So here is a little about our girl... She is quiet, very quiet but once she feels comfortable she will sing, dance and talk. She speak very little English (she pretty much only counts in English) but she has master her native language. One of her most impressive tricks is that she can squat kids twice her size if they climb on her back all while singing and trying to jump. She can hand washes clothes better than any adult I know. She has a personality much like our son Cullen; she likes to be around action but once she has had it she leaves and finds something else to do.

So our girl is real, and wonderful, and more than we could have ever even hoped for. The boys at home "met" her today via Skype. Despite the fact that our girl was speaking Luganda, Geremu was speaking Amharic, and Cullen was attempting Spanish I think the love was obvious on both ends. We can't wait for the family to be together forever.

I'll write more on our court date and my girl tomorrow (she is now in our care) as it's very late and we have a busy day planned for tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure I caught everyone up to speed on our first meeting.

This process/adoption has been tough... Really tough. I don't think I've allowed myself to admit it until now. You all have made it so much more bearable. To all the people who has helped, supported and offered encouraging words these past few years, we feel so humbled to have such a strong support system. For those of you who have been caring for our kids as if they were your own, we owe you the world. We hope we can someday repay you for all you have done.

Love from Uganda,
AnnMarie

A Better Few Days

After the court news I wasn't sure how Ann Marie would sound when I spoke with her yesterday. To my surprise, she sounded much better. She has her daughter staying with her and is learning a lot about what she knows and doesn't know. She has shared some really funny stories with me and I asked her to write some down so I can copy and paste them into the blog. I'm not certain how much information I am able to share, and don't want to cause trouble by sharing too much.

I can tell you this. She is doing well, and enjoying her "Girl." They have a LOT to get done before Nick leaves and have busy days until then. They ventured to a market yesterday, and it sounds like their "girl" is gonna LOVE shopping just as much as Auntie Katie does. Ann bought her a handmade doll for $5.00 and she hasn't put it down since. Ann also laid out a few outfits for her to choose from, and after she got dressed she just stared at herself in the mirror for a long time. She did it again tonight after she put her PJ's on. So sweet.

Today I got to meet my niece on Skype video chat. She is SO adorable and even though she referred to me as "Uncle Katie" she's a TOTAL keeper! I just wanted to reach through the screen and eat her up! Ann says she is a real "pleasure" to be around. It sounds like each day, the bonding and trust is getting stronger.

Their daughter also got to meet her brothers today via Skype. The way technology makes our world seem that much smaller is AMAZING to me! My parents said that the boys were excited to meet their new sister, and had lots to ask/tell her. I guess Geremu asked her if she spoke French, and then tried speaking to her in some of his native language that he remembers. Cullen tried speaking to her in Spanish. This girl is going to get SO much attention and loving from her family, so won't know what to do with it!

On the opposite side of the globe, Cullen and Geremu seem quite happy. My mom and dad are there for a long 5 day weekend. Last night when I called them, Cullen was laying in bed snuggling with my mom and said, "I'm pretty much just snuggling with Granny and LOVING IT IT!" Cullen also told me his and Granny's room was the "Non-Snoring Room" and that Pop and Geremu were in the "Snoring Room!" I'm sure both boys are loving the undivided GRANDPARENT time. It doesn't come along too often with 8 grand kids, so they are soaking it up for all it's worth! SO glad my parents are able to spend this time when them!

On another note, I'm amazed at the amount of support that is coming in every minute from around the USA for Ann Marie's family. She told me that she's so busy and consumed there, that she doesn't have time to think about back home. I told her there is NO need to, because everyone is pulling together to do their part.We have people making meals, bringing meals to freeze from now-December! (Even further I think!) People sending food, donating time to watch their kids, buying clothes, toys, and other items for their daughter, and sending gift cards for the family. It is truly amazing at the wonderful support back home by friends, family, neighbors, and other adoptive families that Ann and Nick have developed friendships with. You guys rock, and will make this time much easier on them! I can't even begin to say thank you enough! When I gave Ann the latest update today, all she could say was "WOW!"

I'll keep posting and if Ann doesn't give me enough info for a post, then the old stories and pics will come out!

Court Update

This morning I received a call from Ann Marie while I was shopping at TJ MAX. Having Skype on your mobile phone and being able to talk to your sister in Uganda for free, while you are shopping, seems unreal! (Maybe the people around me didn't care for it much...but who cares!)

Anyways, today was Ann and Nick's court date. They went to court and everything seemed to be going well until the Judge told her that he was going on vacation until December 2nd, and he would give her his final ruling once he got back. THAT'S RIGHT....you heard me...DECEMBER 2nd! They are seeing what else can be done to try to speed things up, so they can come home before then. Fingers and toes crossed that something falls through, and they are able to leave much sooner.

Nick will be coming back to the States as planned in the beginning of November, as his part in court is done. One of my Uncles will be joining Ann Marie after Nick leaves for a few weeks, so she's not by herself the whole time. She is VERY much looking forward to that. I think he is JUST the right person for the job and I'm sure we'll have many funny stories in the coming weeks.

If you would like to help their family, I set up a care calendar where you can go on a website, look at a calendar, and choose a night to bring Nick and the boys dinner. If Ann and Nick want me to add yard work or house work to it, I will. But rumor has it with the great neighbors they have, it's not needed quite yet.

If you are interested in signing up for a date to bring a meal to her house, please contact me: kaleaver@yahoo.com and I will email you the web address and login information to get you started. (I do not want to post it, and give out their personal information on the web). Please feel free to pass along my email address to others that know Ann Marie and Nick who would be willing to help. Together we can help make this transitional time for their family as smooth as possible on our end.

Keep in mind if you live far away and want to help, you can always order pizza, Jimmy John's subs, or meals that can be delivered to their house. Also, if they do come back earlier than December, it's nice to have meals delivered when you have a new baby/child to adjust. So, I'll keep it up and running as long as Ann Marie doesn't mind, until Christmas.

Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, as I know they are missing their boys, and the boys are missing them!

Thanks for your support!

Katie

Prayers and Thoughts

Again, if you are the praying type, please keep Ann and Nick in your thoughts and prayers today as it's their court date. VERY important day for their family! I'll post when I get news or an OK from AnnMarie. I spoke with her on Skype on Sunday and she sounded good. She found a place to eat near where she was staying where the food is good and reasonable. Sounds like they'll be eating there EVERY night until they leave.

She is anxious for today to go well, and can't wait to get home safe and sound on US soil with her "girl." Nick sounded well too! One last thing she said is electricity is VERY spotty and isn't working most of the time. Which explains the lack of communication she has had with us in the past few days. FINGERS and TOES crossed that today goes well for them!

I'll keep you posted as much as I can/am allowed to share when I hear anything.

Home Away from Home...

Ann Marie sent this picture today of where they are staying while in Africa. She has access to email when the power is on, but can't get into her blog account to post. Which can only mean one thing...she still has to be nice to me! (: Sounds like yesterday was a good day for them, and they seem to be very happy! If you are the praying kind, please keep the prayers coming!