Back to Life,,,

Today I headed back to work since leaving for Uganda. I was really dreading it... Not because I don't like my job, I just had so much fun spending time with the kids. The boys had school so they were all good. Nasuuna knew something was up when she woke up and I was all ready dressed and not in running pants. She followed me around the house wanting to be held when I was able to and staying within 3 feet to keep a close eye on me when I wasn't holding her. She knew something was up, just not sure what was up. It was hard to leave the house, I did it when Nick was walking Cullen to the bus stop with Nasuuna- to make it easier.

I should have prepped her more for today. Nick is staying home with her now so I figured it would be a flawless adjustment. Not as flawless as I had hoped. I haven't left her since she was delivered to me on a boda-boda. But today I left her... When I called home at 9:30am to see how she was doing Nick let me know that she had already said, "Mom?" 75-100 times. I may have smiled a little:) When I walked in the house after school, once she spotted me, she never left my side... The entire night. Listening to the boys read- she was there. While making dinner- she was there. Giving the boys showers- she was there. Cleaning up- she was there. I tried to get her to play with the boys tonight- she stayed right next to me. I talked on the phone- she sat on my lap- and fell asleep.

I've never had an adjustment like this myself back into school. Cullen was born in the spring and when I went back to school it was the beginning of the school year. With Geremu I took an intermittent leave so I eased back into work. One day a week, then two days a week, three days a week, etc. With both the boys, the adjustment felt more natural. This feels so... Sudden. For both of us.

There was no easing into this. It's like I cut off my shadow and we are both a little lost without one another. Tell me it will get better...